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THE OFFICIAL SITE OF |
Brent R. Schofield |
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AUTHOR
BIOGRAPHY
Brent Schofield was born in Georgia and lives
there with his wife and two children. He has been working in information technology since 1983.
He enjoys writing fiction, spending time with his family, and church activities. His first published work,
What The Cat Knows, was written for a young audience and was inspired by his own cat. |
And now... THE UNAUTHORIZED AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Brent Schofield was born in the 60’s to the family of poor sheep farmers. Upon graduating high school,
and not wanting to take over the now thriving family sheep business, Brent applied to the local community college.
While he scored well on the written part of the entrance exam, he lacked sufficient points in the swim suit
competition to gain entrance. Heartbroken, Brent joined the Peace Corps the following winter and was stationed in
upper Saskatchewan. This lasted for about three weeks until Brent was forced to quit the Corps due to an allergy
to Vic’s Vapor Rub and severe chaffing caused by earmuffs.
Never one to give up, Brent pursued a career in the field of amateur truck-pulling. After entering several
competitions, it was not until he won his first title, two years later, that he found out there were no sponsors
and no prize money for amateur truck-pulling. Shortly after quitting the amateur truck-pulling circuit,
Brent returned home to take over the family sheep business, now down to two sheep. This endeavor failed as one
of the sheep drowned while Brent was trying to dye the wool. A few days later, the second sheep was crushed
in a freak accident at a fast food drive through. Brent was never charged because it was never determined if it
was Brent or the sheep that was driving at the time the accident occurred. After running the family business
into the ground, Brent joined the River County volunteer fire department. Within nine months, he was promoted
to captain. One month later, he was fired when the fire truck he was driving crashed at a high rate of speed into
the PTA float during the homecoming parade.
Down to his last dime, Brent tried a career in writing. His first manuscript entitled, This Is My First Manuscript,
was rejected by all the large publishing houses. As it turned out, his manuscript was rejected because it contained
no verbs. Realizing he needed professional help... Brent turned to his cat. The two collaborated on his first published
work, What The Cat Knows. Because Brent took all the credit for the book, his cat filed a lawsuit in superior court.
When asked if the two would ever work together again, Brent’s cat had no comment, pending the outcome of the lawsuit.
Brent claims to have no knowledge of the lawsuit and says any statements made by his cat are out of pure jealousy.
Brent and his cat have not spoken to each
other since.
